By Terry Hernon MacDonald
You don’t need a guitar, rock-hard abs, or even a full head of hair to
make a great impression on a woman. Follow these tips, and she’ll want
to hear from you again real soon:
1. Go out with another woman. If you’re going out to
a club or a bar, take a female friend or your sister with you. Women
are often more amenable to talking to men who are with other women. It
gives them the feeling that you actually like women, and that’s
attractive. If your female friend is outgoing, see if she’ll make small
talk with somebody you’d like to meet. She can say something along the
lines of, “I love your necklace!” and that should do it. After a little
back-and-forth, your friend can say, “Oh, how rude of me. This is my
friend Andy,” and you’re in business.
2. Look women in the eye. It seems elementary, but
you’d be surprised at how many guys either undress a woman with their
eyes or avoid eye contact altogether. Women love it when you look them
in the eye.
3. Don’t try to “buy” her. If you buy her a drink,
she is obligated to say thank you and that’s it. If she accepts the
drink, the polite thing for her to do would be to spend a little time
talking to you, but that’s all. On the other hand, if a woman takes the
drink and walks away, let her go. You wouldn’t want spend time with
her, anyway. Trust me.
4. Find out her interests. Get her talking about what
she’s crazy about, whether it’s David Bowie or the New York Mets. If
you don’t get it, you can say something like, “You know, I’m not too
familiar with Bowie. What CD would you recommend?” Or, “I’m more into
football than baseball. What is it about baseball that you like?” Ask a
woman her opinion, and you’ll have her eating out of your hand (we have
more in common with guys than you think).
5. Listen more, talk less. Hey, I’m not suggesting
that you let her do all the talking, but some guys meet a woman and
then never shut up. Don’t try to impress her! Don’t brag about your GPA
at Harvard, the Jag in your driveway, or the fact that you’re CEO of a
tuna fish conglomerate. You’ll get precisely the kind of woman you
don’t want, the one who’s only into you for your achievements and
possessions, rather than for who you really are. Instead, ask questions
and listen for the answers. Give your opinions. Get to know the woman.
Let her get to know you.
6. Be optimistic. In other words, this is no time to
discuss how oil prices are going through the roof, what a witch your
ex-girlfriend was, or that your parents never gave you enough
attention. If you run out of things to talk about, ask her if she’s
seen the latest hit at the box office.
7. Be chaste. Do not try to go to bed with a woman
right away. Sure, there’s a chance that if you go for it, she will, but
if you’re hoping for a lasting relationship, you set up all sorts of
weirdness if you “do it” too soon. Crazy as it sounds, if she sleeps
with you, she may not respect you in the morning (you didn’t know that,
did you?). She’ll figure that you get into bed with every woman you
meet, which pretty much rules you out as boyfriend material. (Or she
may be the type who thinks you owe her because she slept with you,
which makes her really bad girlfriend material.) Save yourself undue
angst and get to know a person before getting into bed with her.
8. Make a great exit. If you want to see her again,
ask for her number (preface this with something casual, “Maybe we can
get together some time.”). Then touch her shoulder (a little restraint
is sexier here; don’t try to kiss her) and tell her you’ll be in touch.
Then leave. If your friends aren’t ready to go yet, tell her you have
to hang out with them. Walk away. The key here is to keep her wanting
more.
9. Call her. If you said you were going to call, you
can avoid looking desperate by waiting two days, but no longer. A plea
on behalf of the female sex: If you’re not interested in a woman, do
not—I repeat—do not say you’ll call. Say, “Nice meeting you,” and be on
your way. Besides, collecting numbers to feed your ego is kind of sad.
10. Treat women as you’d have them treat you. The
media have brainwashed us to believe that men and women come from
different planets, but we’re all human. Some of the biggest losers in
love are women who complain that all men are the same, they all want
one thing, and so on. But it’s equally sad when a guy assumes all women
are like his mother or his psychopathic ex-girlfriend. You’ll enjoy
astonishing success with women if you understand two simple facts:
We’re people. We're more like you than you think.
About The Author
Terry Hernon MacDonald writes frequently about dating and
relationships. She is the Internet radio host of "Romance Talk with
Terry" at http://healthylife.net and the author of "How to Attract and
Marry the Man of Your Dreams." Visit her website at
http://www.marrysmart.com
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