By Lucia Demasi
Hello Lucia,
I regularly compliment women and tell them that I am interested in
them. Is this the kiss of death? I hear being aloof and stand-offish is
more intriguing and works better in trying to get a woman's attention,
especially in the beginning. Richard.
Hi Richard,
Yes, complimenting women (especially if they’re attractive) when you
first meet them is verboten. Attractive women are used to getting
compliments – in fact, they expect them. If you tell a woman
you’ve just met that she’s beautiful, the dialogue cloud above her head
is thinking, “Tell me something I don’t know.” She already knows
she’s hot. How do you think she got that way? Do you think
she just rolled out of bed like that? Since most guys behave that
way, you’ll fall into the category of average and won’t stand out from
everyone else.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume that you’re about a 7 or
less. Why do I think that? Because guys that rate an 8, 9
or 10 rarely compliment women. It’s like meeting an equal.
You both know you’re hot, so it doesn’t need to be said. It would
be like two geniuses meeting. Do you really think one is going to
say to the other: You’re so smart! I don’t think so. If you’re in
the same league, some things are understood. By referring to her
beauty, you’re sending an unconscious message that you’ve put her up on
a pedestal, are intimidated by her and she would be doing you a favor
by dating you. Well, why should she? She has enough guys in
her league available to her. Why should she date YOU?
The solution? Never comment on a woman’s looks when you first
meet her or on the first few dates. If you want to give a
compliment, give it for something she doesn’t normally get noticed
for. This could be about how smart she is (this works especially
well with attractive women since they rarely get compliments for their
brains) or how good she is with _____________ (children, pets,
salespeople).
The only time I would suggest complimenting a woman you want to meet is
if it’s someone you see on a regular basis, such as at school or at the
gym. In that case, very confidently go up to her and say
something like: I just want to thank you for making the world a
better place with your beauty. After she says thank you,
immediately walk away. She’ll be intrigued that you didn’t try to
start a conversation with her or get her number. Whenever
you see her after that, just smile and say hello. If she doesn’t
eventually start a conversation with you, you can start a short one
with her, but wait until you’ve been saying hello to each other for at
least several weeks.
Are compliments ever appropriate? Of course! After you’ve
been dating for a while, it would be classless not to compliment her on
her looks, especially if she’s all dressed up. She probably spent
a lot of time getting ready, and if you don’t say anything, she’ll
notice and she won’t be too happy about it! Say something
like: You’re amazingly beautiful. How did I get so lucky?
Lucia is a dating and relationship expert, columnist, lecturer and host of the TV Show "The Art of Love".
With over 20 years experience on the relationship market, Lucia has
dated men of all nationalities in six cities, four countries and two
continents. Her practical know-how makes her the perfect candidate to
dispense relationship advice – after all, in almost every dating
dilemma she has been there, done that and lived to tell about it.
For more articles or to ask Lucia a question, go to: http://www.theartoflove.net
To speak to Lucia, go to: Ask Lucia
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/
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