By Vaughn Pascal

I met Tony when I was around 18 yrs old. It seemed like I had dated these guys for awhile but I guess back then it just seemed longer when you were involved. Tony was the cocky, bad boy type. He made me laugh and he was loud and arrogant. I was in my bad boy stage and he was very appealing to me. I guess I looked at him as if he would be a guy who could take care of me because he didn’t seem to be afraid of anything and at that time I think I needed that.

My story and relationship with Tony is a long one. He was a big part of my life and there are many reasons behind that. Anyhow, my relationship definitely, like the others, helped form the person I am now, but this one was one of the most significant. I dated him for actually a year and then some, maybe even longer. I don’t know the exact dates or the time length. We, when we first met, we were together a lot. He ended up quitting school for whatever reason and I ended up quitting too. I was friends with his sister and we became very close. I was also close with his family and even stayed with them for awhile.

Tony and I were together a lot. I ended up getting pregnant at 18 with his baby of course and we went through that whole thing together and he seemed happy about it and I was for the most part. He was jealous, I was jealous of him and we did fight a good bit, not a lot I guess but what really is too much?? Any is stressful. He tried to be controlling but I think it probably went both ways. I think I put a lot of pressure on him to change and he put pressure on me to accept him and stay with him. I think it was probably 50/50 on that part. I was terrified he would leave especially being pregnant and I think at times he was afraid I would. Our relationship became one of a physically, violent nature. He hardly ever called me names which is weird but the violence between us was horrible.

I ended up having trouble with the pregnancy and went to the ER after tests were run the Dr. came in and told me the baby had died and the reason wasn’t clear. I was to go in to have more tests and to get pills to help with aborting the fetus that following Monday, but ended up having the baby in the Dr.’s office that Monday. I was in bad shape and he asked me that evening out of desperation I believe to marry him, go away with him, but that never happened and there was reasons for that. I know that now. We still fought, stayed together but fought.

I got pregnant again, and lost it too. We continued to fight. Then he began to cheat and it was just down hill from there. I then finally moved on when I met someone else and that was what it took to get away because I couldn’t have done it on my own at that point. The bond was there and it was strong and we had been through so much I needed a push to let go and I finally got that. Tony is now involved in a serious relationship with a nice lady. I believe he is happy. He told one of my friends to tell me he was sorry for all that happened, hoped I didn’t hate him, and hoped I was happy, and I am. And I hope he is too. We shared a lot between us, good and bad times and they all were a contribution to my life in love and loss, and I know it was all apart of God’s plan for me believe that or not. And I wish him tons of happiness, and peace, and love throughout his life now and always. God bless you and yours!

Vaughn Pascal

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