By Robert Torrey
I was reading an article about the Apprentice and some of the rules
that Donald Trump and his apprentice assistants had come up with about
business. While reading a lot of them I saw a huge relation to
how these same rules also apply to dating as crazy as it might sound.
Donald Trump is a famous Billionaire who has endured ups and downs for
a number of decades. It appears a large portion of his wealth has
been made in Real Estate. Recently he has had a popular reality
series NBC has been showing known as the Apprentice. The Reality
Show isn’t all frivolous as a lot of the other reality shows
around. At the center of every episode are real gems on how
to climb a corporate ladder, how to lead, how to stand out from the
crowd and even how to fail and avoid getting the boot.
The Apprentice centers on a competition for a job working for the
Billionaire Donald Trump. Every episode features some sort of
business task or some sort of competition. At the end of
each episode some of the competitors are fired which means they leave
the show and miss out on the opportunity to work for My Trump.
This takes place in the Boardroom where members are encouraged to
evaluate their teammates performance, abilities, work ethics. The
guy who makes the biggest errors tends to be the one “fired”.
Beyond winning the competition, each individual team member must
act in a manner that earns him or her respect as a project manager or
team member.
Some of the gems of the show for thought.
1. Think Like A Winner
Donald Trump’s most profound comment (and first commandment) is,
"Winning is everything." He explained that while there is no better
feeling… the ability to think like a winner is the key to being one.
Those who take their eyes off the prize wind up hearing two little
words: you’re fired.
This relates to dating as somebody who feels confident can be
confident. A person who feels he has already won a battle
has a huge edge over somebody who feels he has a lot of obstacles to
overcome. A person who feels he is a winner is a winner as your beliefs
are what shape you. The person you wish to win over will be
heavily more attracted to somebody who believes in themselves than
somebody who doesn’t.
2. Polish Your Interview Skills
The importance of exceptional interview skills became crucial as the
field narrowed to the final four contestants in episode 14. Kelly,
Jennifer M, Kevin and Stacy underwent a grueling series of job
interviews with four of the top business leaders in the world. The two
candidates left standing after this process — Kelly and Jennifer M —
demonstrated superior ability to think on their feet. Some of the
spontaneous answers lobbed by Kevin and Sandy, made viewers cringe. It
quickly became clear who had the ‘right stuff’ to survive the hot seat.
This second rule can be applied to having good communication
skills. Somebody who can think of their feet and express their
thoughts easily can communicate their feelings much more
easily. Somebody who is also good at interviews will know
what to say that can open somebody up to a whole new level. They
will allow a great sense of rapport to be built quickly and be very
deep.
3. Lead Strong or Play Along
Getting their team of ‘alphas’ to follow without question was a
challenge for each project manager. Some ruled with an iron fist,
others used manipulation and guilt. Some didn’t handle it at all.
In episode 11, Wes took the lead in a task to create an ad campaign for
Levi’s Jeans. Maria, one of his teammates, thought she had this task
together and angrily told Wes to back off, while she seized control.
Maria was so busy throwing her weight around, she missed the primary
focus of jeans advertising… the ‘butt shots’. This single oversight
cost the team dearly. Later, in The Boardroom, Wes was fired for
failing to control Maria,,, and she was fired for posing as a
know-it-all. Two for the price of one turned out to be all in a day’s
work for Mr. Donald Trump.
On this and dating. One of the things we teach our students in
workshops is to lead and never hesitate. When a student sees
strong indications of interest it is his responsibility to act on
them and follow up. If a student fails to lead than the
interest level will soon drop to a very low level
quickly. Learning
to Play along can also be taken as a way to see the signals and be
aware of them. When somebody is showing interest it’s
best to play along and let them be interested than giving them
something else.
4. Step Up; Take Responsibility
Finger-pointing was rampant among teams on the Apprentice. If you were
really slick about it, laying blame off on one of your teammates could
help you survive another day. If you weren’t… oh well.
This is a common thing I see with some students when I hear about what
they have done before working with Fidentia in a workshop. They
fail to take responsibility for their own
actions. This is done in so
many ways its crazy. First if they have a bad date they
blame the date a lot, where they went, what they did, others
around –yet they never look at themselves and wonder if they could have
done anything different to improve the situation. The only
way to learn from mistakes is to first realize you made a mistake in
the first place.
Another example is guys who use different systems for dating.
There are many programs out there. I can make ALL of them
work. When a student can not make something work.
They tend to first want to blame the system instead of
themselves. So they are
on a constant search of dating systems never realizing that
each system has had some students have success. They can
not learn if they do not take responsibility for their own actions.
5. Resist the Impulse to Be Impulsive
The game provides that the winning project manager receive an exemption
from firing should his or her team lose the following week — an
Apprentice "Get Out of Jail Free" card.
Bradford won week one… but lost in week two. He had clearly been the
hardest working and most productive on his team and Mr. Trump seemed to
especially favor him. Moreover, he had the exemption and could not be
fired. All he had to do was sit back and make insightful comments about
his teammates.
But Bradford let his cockiness get in the way of sound business
judgment. He bragged to Mr. Trump that he was so confident of his
performance he was willing to give up his exemption.
Trump accepted Bradford’s offer… and then fired him, for making an
unwise and impulsive decision. It was a harsh, but instructive
consequence for acting in a rash manner.
One of the things I can think of with this is somebody who is too
impulsive is not paying attention to others. A relationship
is a two way street involving both parties. When somebody
is being impulsive and the other person isn’t respective than this
creates a dead end.
6. Instill Confidence in Your Team
Both of the final two contestants, Kelly and Jennifer M, demonstrated
how to respect and inspire their co-workers. Choosing people you trust
and with whom you have mutual respect goes a long way toward success.
In the final episode, eight of the previously fired teammates were
brought back to become the support team for the final task. Jennifer
and Kelly were allowed to take turns choosing their team members. Kelly
took a stronger role with his team, expecting more of each of them,
while Jennifer delegated the heavy lifting to herself.
In the end, both sets of teams did a great job for their PMs, but
Kelly’s team proved more loyal and spoke more highly of his leadership
abilities. Their confidence in him had an impact on the final outcome.
This can be taken in installing confidence in who you are attracted
to. When you are interested in them and extremely
confident. Others will feel your true feelings. When they
can feel your feelings they will mirror
them. Who wants to be around
somebody who takes away their confidence?
7. Watch What You Say
Both talking too much and saying the wrong thing can hurt you in
business. Jennifer C was an example of both errors and their
consequences.
Every time she appeared in The Boardroom, Jennifer was admonished by
both Mr. Trump and his property manager, Carolyn, for talking when she
should have been listening to others.
Later, after making a demeaning comment about two women customers in an
episode, she was booted from the show. To add injury to her insult,
when the show finally aired, she was also fired from her real world job
for that comment.
This applies to dating with the idea of listening is just as important
as talking. Telling somebody they are pretty when they are
trying to make a point and have something important to say is not what
they want to hear. The same would go for things such a negative
hits or being cocky and funny which are terms used in the
seduction community.
A negative hit is a slight insult which is supposed to be
insulting but not seem like you meant it. I do not usually
endorse this. It is to try to convey you are not really
interested in your target person to let their guard down.
Somebody who is being very cocky and funny can do so at the wrong time
too. When a person is showing signs of interest they are
asking for rapport. Giving them answers that are cocky and funny
will actually break rapport and chase a lot of people away.
8. Know When to Listen
During another visit to The Boardroom, Trump chastised (National Debate
Champion) Andy for not standing up and arguing in his own behalf. Andy
shot back to Mr. Trump that part of being a debate champ is in knowing
when to talk and when to listen.
A short and sweet argument that paid off.
I think this and how it applies to dating and seduction is very obvious. Listening is a key part of communication.
9. Keep it Strictly Business
Viewers were told — over and over — that The Apprentice contestants
were culled from over a million applicants and were said to be the best
of the very best. This being so, one wouldn’t expect the male
participants to lose their composure when attractive women crossed
their paths, mid-task. And yet, there was Raj. In addition to an
unending stream of inappropriate comments, Raj stopped just short of a
butt wiggle and a "woooo, whooo " whenever a beautiful woman was within
ten feet.
And while this behavior did not directly lead to his being fired, it
did (often) cause him to lose focus and take his eye off the prize. In
fact, Raj was ultimately fired for letting an important detail slide —
making sure the toilet was installed in a home he was charged with
remodeling.
This is a little bit more difficult to summarize for dating.
Somebody who lacks focus tends to lack drive. When you really
have a goal in mind going after 20 different things usually gets
somebody nowhere.
10. Avoid Showing Your A**
This one should be a no-brainer, but since it actually happened, maybe not.
Fairly late in the game, in episode 13, Ivana was desperate for a win.
Clutching at straws, she offered to pull down her skirt and flash her
underwear to a strange businessman on the street if he would pay her
twenty dollars for a candy bar worth one dollar. He did… and then she
did…
So, it was no surprise that Ivana wound up in The Boardroom, having to
explain this gaff to Mr. Trump. She claimed her action as a ‘gimmick.’
But this taught us another valuable lesson — know when you have done
something inappropriate and face it head on. When she refused to
acknowledge that she crossed a line, the shock, dismay and controversy
surrounding her behavior was palpable.
Well this is true but there is a time to show you’re a** and a time not
to show your assets.
When you first meet somebody common sense says don’t take off your
pants as the first things you do when introducing yourself.
To summarize all of this a lot of the rules that help somebody get ahead in business can also help them get ahead dating others.
Take a look at the website . To learn more about “The Apprentice” go to http://www.NBC.com
Robert Torrey
Robert Torrey is a dating trainer for Fidentia. A company that
does live workshops in nightclubs teaching men and women how to get
just about anybody they want to pick them up.
http://www.badboycoaching.com/dating_advice.htm for more info
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