By Stephanie Manley
All relationships are clearly not meant to be. Only a few really
deserve your time and your efforts. Sometimes we have clouded judgment
and fail to recognize warning signs that are clearly apparent. Everyone
deserves to love and be loved in a relationship. Often relationships
start out wonderfully and turn sour while dating. You should invest
your time with those people who respect you and will treat you well.
Yet, sometimes we may overlook some of the warning signs that may save
us much heart ache in the end.
1. Physical Abuse - physical abuse should always be a deal breaker.
Early signals may be extremely rough play where you end up bruised.
Other early signs are pushing, shoving, or playfully hitting you too
hard. These are signs that he is physically aggressive and doesn't mind
hurting you.
2. Emotional/Verbal Abuse - name calling (no, we aren't talking about
terms of endearment) such as you’re a fat slob, you're ugly, or
anything that doesn't promote good will is inexcusable. If such terms
are being used towards you, drop that person, they do not respect you.
Having that person say that they didn't mean it, or they were joking
isn't an acceptable excuse.
3. Emotional Rollercoaster’s - avoid people who love you one day, and
want to break things off the next day. This person is unstable, and
will only continue this cycle as your relationship continues. A person
who does articulate mixed messages isn't emotionally mature enough for
a relationship.
4. Lying - you deserve to be in a relationship with a person who will
tell you the truth. Avoid anyone who tells outright lies. If they will
lie about small things, they will lie about larger things. A person
that loves you will respect and not lie to you.
5. Inaccessible – They will not give out phone numbers, address, or
employment information. Someone who is not willing to give you a way to
contact them is trying to hide from someone. Perhaps they will only
give out their cell phone number and nothing else. Perhaps they will
only allow you to call at certain times, and not at others. All of
these are warning signs that they are trying to keep themselves
separate from you.
6. Too Controlling – your partner is overly concerned about activities
that you do when you are away from them. They need to know where you
are at all times, they may call you several times a day while you are
out checking up on you. Be cautious if someone must know where you are
at every waking moment, and needs to constantly check up on you. They
may need to do this simply because they are insecure, or they may be
seeing someone else, and want to verify that you aren’t going to
infringe upon that other relationship.
7. You’re the one trying to work on the relationship – if you are the
one that has to maintain the contact, apologize, and keeps the
relationship going, you are working too hard. Relationships are two way
streets; both parties need to be involved. If you are involved with
someone who can’t pick up the phone, send an email, or come and see
you, move on. The other person isn’t interested in you enough to make
the effort.
8. How do they treat others? Does your partner treat other people well?
Do they treat servers in restaurants with respect? Do they speak nicely
to their own family? Do they talk badly about their friends behind
their backs? Remember, the person you are with will eventually treat
you like they do everyone else.
These are general warning signs. You may have your own must haves that
a potential partner must meet to be in a relationship with you. Make
sure you move slow enough to see these warning signals before you fully
engage your heart. Above all you deserve a stable relationship with
someone that you respect, and that other person respects you. If you
must question yourself, ask yourself this, if a friend of yours was
relating some of these red flags to you, what would you say? If you
would tell your friend its time to move on, move on to someone that
will give you the relationship that you desire.
Editor for Copykat.com, Stephanie also writes a variety of articles about relationships at http://romancelessons.blogspot.com.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/
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